It Came From the Bargain Bin (The Human Tornado)

It’s time for another trip to the “Bargain Bin”. Last week’s review of “Bustin’ Loose” was enjoyable, but let’s be honest, enough already of heart-string pulling, good feeling movies; am I right? This week we are looking for something a little more vulgar, a little more original and a lot more entertaining. So, I venture to a different department sore or store (Freudian slip) in search of Bargain Bin gold. Well, looky here, a blacksploitation compilation! Now, that is what I’m talking about. Without hesitation, I spend my meager five dollars, thinking that, this could very well be the best five bucks that I have spent in a long time or I might get the shaft (pun intended). As I look through the films on this compilation I realize that there is a Rudy Ray Moore film in the mix. For those of you who do not know who Rudy Ray Moore is, he is the legendary “Dolemite”. Now, all I know about Dolemite is that Snoop Doggy Dogg, as he was referred to when I was a teen, paid tribute to him in the smash hit “Nothin’ But A G Thang” with the Snoop smooth line “Pimpin’ ho’s and clockin’ a grip like my name was Dolemite”. Now, I could not help but wonder, “who is this Dolomite that Snoop is rapping about”? Well, twenty years later I have found out exactly who this Dolemite is, and let me tell you, he is a mutha****** superhero. Which leads to this week’s pick from The Bin…..”The Human Tornado” starring no other than mutha****** Rudy Ray Moore as the incomparable “Dolemite”!

The Human Tornado

Written by: Jerry Jones

Directed by: Cliff Roquemore

Starring: Rudy Ray Moore and Ernie Hudson

Reviewed by: Joe Sikes

In an unspecified location there is a get together to recognize the fact that the money drive to raise money for a new boys home has been brought to a halt. Dolemite, the good citizen that he is, has decided to donate his abode to the cause. In the middle of all this good will and celebrating a red-neck mother and son spot a group of “n******” partying on the hill. Without hesitation the racist duo reports this unacceptable display to the town Sheriff. Before long the Sheriff, his Deputy, and their ban of bigoted men race to the location to put an end to this open display of blackness. In the midst of the Sheriff’s party’s dissension upon the party, the Sheriff finds Dolemite having carnal relations with his wife. With a word the Sheriff orders his idiotic deputy to kill Dolemite and his wife as well. The sheriff’s wife is killed, but you best believe that Dolemite is more than ready for such an attack. Without a thought Dolemite kills the deputy and narrowly escapes his own demise. When saved by his fellow race warriors Dolemite declares that it is off to California that they must travel, but this cannot be done without hijacking a vehicle that is driven by a latent homosexual male, who provides the comic relief amongst comic reliefs in this film, and who is more than happy to be hijacked by a group of overly testosterone driven black males.

There is much more to this landmark “Blaxsploitation” film but this review could go on for pages and pages if I were to delve deeper into this, in my opinion, seventies masterpiece. Okay, this movie is not driven by great or even good acting but, if anything, this film is driven by a message and that message is, DON’T F*** With US! Decorated with that bold seventies style that we all love and horrible dubbing and that cheesy seventies film editing that we all enjoy, this is a film that any fan of seventies low-budget cinema and classic blaxsploitation films cannot help but love. Make sure that there are no children within a hundred yard radius when you view this classic because there is no shortage of vulgar language and borderline, on seventies film’s terms anyway, x rated sexual content in this film.

That saying, I give this, new favorite of mine, 2 and a half pimps. I can’t help but leave you all with a timeless quote from “The Human Tornado”, delivered by Dolemite, the seventies black superhero and my new superhero as well ; “Mule did kick me and didn’t even bruise my hyde. Rattlesnake done bit me and crawled off and died. Yes, I fought my way in here cuz I’m rough and ready. So girls, let’s go get that mutha****** Cavaletti”! Now, I’m gonna watch another Dolomite film on Netflix. Peace!

I must warn you the trailer for this film is certainly not for young people and I would avoid watching it at work or church.

Tagged as: Blaxsploitation, Dolemite, Rudy Ray Moore, Snoop Dogg, The Human Tornado