Last week “It Came from the Bargain Bin” visited a group of anti-heroes that won movie goers’ hearts with their determination to overcome social prejudices and their infectious senses of “nerd” humor. This week The Bargain Bin is visiting a different kind of anti-hero and this anti-hero doesn’t give a rat’s ass about being accepted nor does he have much of a sense of humor. Donning a pirate’s patch over his left eye and sporting some serious leather, this week’s protagonist is nobody to mess with. Good luck to any nerd ridiculing Alpha Beta who tries to defeat this guy in a university sponsored field day. First of all this guy refers to himself as “Snake” and second of all I’m guessing that Snake never attended college because he was too busy kicking serious ass. So, because Snake said so, this week’s review is the sequel to Escape from New York………
Escape from L.A.
Stars: Kurt Russell, Steve Buscemi, Peter Fonda
Director: John Carpenter
Writers: John Carpenter and Nick Castle
Reviewed by: Joe Sikes
It’s 1998 and the #@%! is hitting the fan. L.A. is a modern-day Sodom and/or Gomorrah, as the super-Christian presidential candidate has declared, and it is time for a major moral overhaul to be made. Not long after the “United States Police Force” is formed, the Bible obsessed presidential candidate predicts that “Armageddon will descend upon the city of Los Angeles” and “waters will arise and separate this sinful, sinful city from our country.” As predicted, a massive earthquake strikes L.A. in the year 2000 causing the city of Los Angeles to physically separate from the United States, becoming “Los Angeles Island.” Following the devastation of the earthquake the U.S. Constitution is amended and the newly elected President who boldly predicted the disaster accepts a lifetime oath of office and the United States capital is relocated to his hometown of Lynchburg, Virginia. Once in office the newly elected President declares Los Angeles Island as no longer being a part of The United States but rather a deportation point where the immoral are relocated to and prevented from returning to The U.S.
2013: The infamous Snake Plissken has finally been captured and relocated to the deportation point on Los Angeles Island. Once in custody, Plissken is notified that, much like in Escape from New York, the United States Government is in need of his services. As you can imagine, Mr. Plissken is not so eager to comply with the orders he has been given. You see, apparently the new President’s daughter, Utopia (A.J. Langer) has decided that she is not a big fan of her Dad’s political agenda and she has just so happened to obtain a top-secret prototype unit that is very important to the government for unknown reasons. After going on a maniacal rant urging the citizens of The United States and Los Angeles Island to rise against her father’s tyranny, Utopia has disappeared. When a rescue team fails to “rescue” the President’s daughter and her sister commits suicide, Utopia delves into a cyber world to escape the Hell that has tortured her. While in this distant cyber-universe Utopia is discovered and used by Peruvian terrorist Cuervo Jones to obtain the coveted black box with which he plans to use as a tool to help him take back America with the help of an allied force of Third World nations. Snake’s job is to obtain the powerful black box and return it to its rightful owner, aka the President, who plans to use the box for his own evil agenda. By the way, if Snake does not accomplish this goal set before him he will experience certain death due to the lethal injection of Plutoxin 7 he unknowingly received. But if he succeeds, Snake will be pardoned of all twenty-seven of his convictions and freed.
Escape from L.A. is supported by an entertaining cast of characters including Steve Buscemi as “Map to the Stars” Eddie who serves as Snake’s comic relief sidekick and Pam Grier as “Hershe Las Palmas”, who was once Snake’s old friend “Carjack Malone” but is now a transsexual gang leader whose assistance is needed in obtaining the black box of evil. Escape from L.A. is similar to Escape from New York in many ways but it is definitely not the same movie. There are moments of fantastic laugh out loud cheese that I feel only adds to the entertainment value of this 1996 action flick and the supporting cast is definitely unforgettable. I wouldn’t say that Escape from L.A. is better or worse than Escape from New York but I do think that after viewing this flick from The Bin that you will find it equally as entertaining. I give Escape from L.A. 2 pirate patch wearing badasses. See you next week.