Nostra, the King of Blogathons, has teamed up with Terrence from The Focused Filmographer to deliver one of the most entertaining blogathons yet:
It’s time to put some movie people in jail. The object is to give a prosecutor’s argument as to why these movie people belong in “Movie Jail” whether it be for violating the integrity of the content source of one their films, or being a sell-out, just making bad movies overall, getting worse as time goes on or not being in a good movie for many years. The baton will be passed to another blogger who will have to do the following:
In order to free someone from Movie Jail they have to do 2 things:
1 – Give a defense attorney argument defending the plaintiff
2 – Pay bail: the cost of which is another case for the court and a prosecutor’s argument against the actor/director of their choice that will replace the one set free.
There must always be 10 people in Movie Jail.
1. My Filmviews/The Focused Filmographer
2. Cinematic Corner
3. And So It Begins…
4. Surrender to the Void
5. Cinematic Paradox
6. The Cinematic Spectacle
7. Being Norma Jean
8. Defiant Success
9. …let’s be splendid about this
10. Lime Reviews and Strawberry Confessions
11. Aziza’s Picks
13. i luv cinema
14. Public Transportation Snob
15. The Warning Sign
16. 3 Guys 1 Movie
Who I am Setting Free
Well, I have to let Val Kilmer out of jail right away. Now I will be the first to admit that he has been doing to his best to emulate Marlon Brando but some actors have created a body of work that gives them a lifetime pass when it comes to the twilight of their careers. I would say that putting the Lizard King in jail is a crime all by itself but you are also putting the Ice Man, Doc Holiday, and the coolest guy in Heat.
Yes, you can argue that his recent output has been pretty terrible but mixed in there amongst all the garbage in the oughts are some hidden treasures. In 2002 he was great in Salton Sea, he had a nice role in Spartan in 2004. Then he followed it up with a great performance in Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang in 2005. Thrown in there as well was his hysterical cameo on Entourage. You want something a little newer? Check him out in Kill The Irishman from 2011. Clearly he still has talent but has just been thrown some bad roles lately. All of this leads to me unlocking the cell and setting him free. I still have faith that Val is going to be able to slim it back down and wow us with another great performance.
Who I Am Locking Up
Now, the real question is, who needs to occupy his empty spot? Without question nobody needs to be locked up and have the key thrown away more than Damon Lindelof. Not only does he belong in movie jail, he needs a stint in TV jail as well. Lets start off with Lost, a show that millions of americans got hooked on and then invested ton of time caring about the fates of the characters. We learned their back stories, we hoped they would all find their way off the island. We cared deeply about them all. So how does Lindelof reward us? He tells us that all that time we spent with the show was worthless because all of the characters were already dead! Well fuck you very much!
How do you top that? How about you take the biggest box office draw of all time (Harrison Ford) and the current king of the box office (Daniel Craig) and then throw in a smoking hot Olivia Wilde and somehow manage to make a movie that sucks? Yep, we got Cowboys and Aliens.
So where do you go from there? Well I guess you could ruin one of the most well known Science Fiction horror franchises of all time. So we get Prometheus a movie about some of the stupidest scientists of all time that travel off to a distance planet based on shoddy clues from some of the stupidest aliens of all time that apparently left a map to their weapon of mass destruction. Oh, and by the way, we may all be the spawn of a race of albino Mr. Clean’s with gym memberships. Thanks for that.
So what’s next? Lindelof is giving the Midas touch to the new Star Trek movie. Fans of the franchise you have been warned!
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